what a long day.

hmm. why do i feel so useless today.
what is happening to me?

Yesterday. Saturday.
as usual. i walk benben and dandan to east coast.
this time. for the first time. with someone company.
Fiona. hmm.. pretty weird feelings.
for the whole day. its pretty funny.
at first she accompanied me to parkway to buy my bendan food.
then walk all the way back home to bring bendan out.
she was like complaining saying waa damn far leh.
haha. even before we walk them out.

don't know why. with her.
im always talking rubbish. like seriously clumsy..
knowing what to say but kept saying the wrong thing.
hmm. look really stupid i guess.
and my English is really bad. haha.
but im still trying to speak as fluently as possible.

while walking to ecp. it rains!! dammit.
what is wrong with the weather yesterday.
then we went to katong shopping center to get shelter.
she is like " you confirm can bring them in or not?! "
hahas " ya la~ nobody will know de. " haha.

after a bit. the rain stops and we continue our journey.
if she wasn't there im gonna be alone again yesterday. :)
going ecp is kinda relax. listen to the waves , enjoy beautiful the sea breeze,
looking at dirty sand, and i remember she said "disgusting seaweed" haha.

while sitting at the rocky platform. or what ever how you call it.
she saw crab! kept pointing to me. i was like WHERE?!
my eyes sux. haha. then bendan was like shivering. so cold.
hahas. after a bit they get use to it. they just sit still and relax enjoying the breeze.

and while relaxing. i did some magic.
and make her look like a fool haha!
i asked her to make a bet on the card.
that is the first time i ask for "that" from a girl.
of cos she loses. and got to do forfeit. "that"
hahas. :p

then awhile more we decided to continue walking.
but she went smoking. i really dislike girls smoke.
most people told me that they smoke is for socializing.
but i don't smoke. then why still smoke?
hmm.. better quit la..
waste money.. waste precious time as you will die early..
bad breath.. yellow teeth.. unhealthy. :x
why still do it? i don't know?

plus we chat about horizontal and vertical.
all girls thinks that they look fat no matter what.
but all guys thinks that they look good no matter what.
that is one of the different between guys and girls. haha.
seriously i wanna grow horizontally.
kept growing vertically is not good.
and horizontal is nicer to hug.
too vertical hug le like hugging a hard pillar.
will easily kena rejected as well. x.x

then we went to carl's jr.
finally saw desmond there.
every time go there either he not there or. too busy. haha.
but this time. i saw him taking a break.
haha! go there eat still got 20% discount. :D:D

good good! but still ex..

he specially come out take order for me sia.
and dont need Q-up haha! cos im with my bendan
a bit inconvenient to bring in.
then while eating.
it started to rain HEAVILY!
the stupid big umbrella outside.
no use one. unable to kept us all dry.
but luckily our heads are still dry la haha.

is being loved. or loving someone is better??
hmm.. she is the first one i heard loving someone is better than being loved.
who in the world don't want to be loved?
if you love some one. but that some one doesnt love you back.
isn't it a torture? isn't it heart trenching?

im really scare to be in love again. i don't want that kinda torture again.
it is really painful. much more painful than anything else.

hmm.. i rather have no feelings. so i can feel no pain.
but i can't stop it. no one can.
why am i feeling something weird. i hope it is not that.
sigh...

and today. sunday.
stayed at home whole day.
only run an errand for my mum and ah ma.
always ask me buy 4D, TOTO, whatever whatever.
seriously why wanna gamble?
save up the money and eat la.
no matter how much i eat. i just wont grow horizontal.
maybe must plan to go gym and drink protein powder already.
i wanna be FATTER!

hahas. and i just took out my guitar today.
it is covered with dust. hmm.. its been awhile.
my skills? rust already.
forgotten a lot.
but still can play some.
finger tips hurts! too long didn't play already.

hmm.. i still got a 400 word essay to write.
but i don't know how to write or how to start.
and yet came here to type this.

-must plan some exercising soon!
-must ask ah ma teach me how to cook!
-must sleep early and dont look too restless.
-must be confidence.
-and lastly. must not think too much! ><